The doctors had let me sit up for the first time, and the nurse helped me into the chair. It felt really good after 24 hours of flat-on-back stuff.
They left me watching TV and I sat back to enjoy the moment. Only I forgot two very important things ...
One, the phone was on the OTHER side of the bed.
Two, I was wearing a hospital gown.
You're starting to see where this is leading, aren't you?
The phone rang. I stood up, reached over the bed ... and realized 'very important thing number two' . Oops.
I grabbed the phone (and the back of my hospital gown) and turned to the door, only to see my nurse walking by supporting a very old man. Oh no.
When she came back to my room I told her what happened, she said yes, she had noticed.
I asked her about the old man ...
She said (with a totally straight face - at first) "Oh he just looked at me and said ---
'YOU SEE ONE BUTT, YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ALL!' "